Saturday, March 30, 2013

Zoo day

We went to the zoo today. It was Alexander's first day and I'm exhausted from the events for today. Jon and I share getting up with Alexander on weekends. Today was my day to sleep in. I was asleep at 10:15 last night I have a feeling tonight will be earlier. I have no idea why I'm just wore out and exhausted lately.. and no its not another baby!
Anyways we got ready and left around 12:15 for the zoo and met up with family where we walked around the zoo.

After about a half hour Alexander got fussy so Jon put him in a baby carrier and carried him around the rest of the day.
He did great and only cried when the big monkey banged on the glass.

I love the monkeys they are my favorite part of our local zoo.. How cute are these?!?!
All the monkeys were indoors due to the snow on the ground. I can't wait til later this summer when Alexander is a bit older and the weather is warmer. We will probably make one more trip to the zoo this year with him.

After that we went and bought Callie a new litter box. She's been having issues with not pooping in the litter box lately rather all around it. It's not an issue of if its clean or not because right after cleaning them (she has 2 litter boxes) she will still poop right beside them. She is a rather large cat so I bought a Rubbermaid tub today for her littler box. I'm hoping with the larger box she will do better. I'm hoping it's just a matter of her not having enough room in the other boxes.

I did sneak out for a chocolate Easter bunny. I got a Jr solid.. but now my stomach hurts :( probably another reason I'll be going to bed early. I really need to stop punishing myself and remember before I eat the junk, that my belly REALLY isn't happy 99% of the time with the junk I put in it.

Tomorrow I'm thinking we're either going to go on a walk in the nature park or go to a maple camp. Although I'm sure my belly would appreciate going to the nature park more then going to the maple camp. Then tomorrow night is Zumba! Time to shake my rump. Speaking of rump, my cousin and my friend and I are doing a 30 day squat challenge!
Day 30 is a lot of squats! Today is day 1. I have yet to do them, however I am on my way to my bedroom to do my squats then curl up in bed with my new Jillian Michaels book and read a bit then beddy bye time for me :D.

Hope everyone had a great Saturday. Spring is in the air and soooo close!!! I can't wait to be able to take Alexander to the park!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Weigh in day!

I'm a day late with this post as yesterday was pay day and I had a ton of running around to do. I got a few toys for Alexander and then did the eternal never ending task of grocery shopping. After his morning nap and food this took all after noon then supper and then we had bath time and by then my hubby took over the laptop. I have one but it really sucks so I use his.

I ran into this genius yesterday while shopping:

Really this lady (I'd say late 40's early 50's) took about 5 minutes to park like this.. Where do ppl learn to drive?!?!
I did jump on the scales yesterday morning and seen this :

 Which is no loss but also no gain.. Which is frustrating but glad I did not have a gain. So in light of this I got Jillian Michael's new book at Costco yesterday.
I love that even under the book cover the book is pink! I started it last night I can't wait to get through it and start living my new "slim for life" life! I really hope this helps me. One of the best things of all is no matter how much I weigh right now this little face still loves me! I love little scrunchy face man!

He is also the reason I want to get healthy and get in shape. He is still not actively drinking from the bottle/sippy cup so it looks like I may go back to work as a nursing mom. If that has to happen I'll just make sure I nurse him before I go to work and once I get home hopefully pump a bit off so it will be more comfortable for me to sleep. That is our biggest challenge with weaning him is to get him off the boob onto a sippy/bottle. We will work it out though cause I am going back to work May 6th. I miss getting money. I'm still kinda nervous about going back to work in 5 weeks. I thought being off work for a 9-10 months would really bother me but it hasn't mainly due to the emotional roller coaster that my hormones have put me on. But YAY for change! I really need to embrace it or it will not work out well. We have plans,big plans. We're hoping to get me a new vehicle and in a couple of years get a house. I can't wait til we have our down payment and can start house shopping! Life is what you make it, and we are going to give Alexander a great one!

Monday, March 25, 2013

Change is good.

So I went with my friend today to look for used furniture for their new house. I love looking at furniture. I found a few really nice kitchen table sets that I would like to own. 888$ for a beautiful 9 peice dinnette set. I can't wait til we get our own house which will be bigger then this place so we can get new fun furniture.
I went online tonight and found what appeared to be an awesome place, went and looked at the area it was in and it had a sold sign on it :( We planned on waiting a couple of years to get a good down payment. Right now we have none, but as first time home owners we do not need a down payment it would just "help". However I don't think we'd be able to find that deal again anytime soon so we'll do what we planned on and start saving for a down payment once I return back to work. I can't wait to return to work to get money again.. I think I've mentioned that before.
I figure I'll start looking now for a house just so I do my research and get as good as deal as we can when the time comes. We have a few great people working with us. My friends hubby is a mortgage broker and my cousin in law is a realitor so we are in good hands. I hate that when you go looking with a friend for something you start wanting it for yourself lol. There were so many nick nacks at the used furniture places that I'd like to get but we just don't have the room here. Plus its a rental so we can not do any renovations. I will be oh so happy once we have our downpayment and can do serious house shopping.
In other news Jon's parents are gone to Florida for 2 weeks. They left us the van! So for the next 2 weeks I have a 2010 Grand Caravan to drive around in. I will be looking into getting either the grand caravan or the journey in June. I do love the space the caravan offers though. There is many things I like about both vehicles. Not much I don't like. I think when it comes down to deciding which vehicle to get it will come down to which has more things I like in it. The budget is a concern as well so if at that time the caravan is a lot cheaper then the journey then caravan it is.
There has been so many changes in my life in the past year and so many more to come in the next couple of years its quite exciting. Some of it is a bit overwhelming as well but none the less exciting.. Change is good.
Tomorrow is weigh in day.. Not looking forward to that. But I definitely have been more active this week and ate a bit better, so *fingers crossed*

Friday, March 22, 2013

Holy crap I have an 8 month old child!

Alexander turned 8 months yesterday. He continues to bring happiness and joy into every single day of my life. I am still in complete shock sometimes that I have a tiny human living with me. He is an amazing child. He is always smiling and loves laughing and chasing the cat. I'm sorry Callie but I promise one of these days all the fur pulling and being chased from room to room will pay off. Someday soon you will have a little fella who will give you a zillion pets a day.
Alexander does something every single day that amazes me. I have watched this little boy go from a crying blob to a little boy. He is a person now. He is becoming his own little person. Every day is new discoveries. He walks with us holding his hand. He wants to stand all the time and walk all the time. He will stand up against everything. Yesterday he washed my face with the face cloth I used to wash his face with after supper. It was super cute. He is starting to wave. He waves bye to daddy every morning. He has a fierce army crawl. He has had a few topples but on the most part he's pretty steady. He's starting to dance to music, which is incredible. This morning he started "sharing" with daddy. He had a string he'd put in his mouth then put in daddy's mouth. (it was from Jon's hoodie not just some random string) I'm sure he'll be walking in a few short months. He still has no teeth but as a nursing mom I'm ok with that.
He started sucking from a straw the other day (THANK GOD). I can not tell you how happy that milestone makes me. He is the most incredible kid. I am so excited to watch this child continue to grow. 
He eats like a fiend too. He is always eating. He weighed 15 lbs 1 oz at his 6 month appt so he's not very big but man he can pack away food. He eats 4 times a day. 8 am. 12 pm 4 pm and 730. His morning and evening feeds are cereal and his noon and 4 pm feeds are fruit or veggies and meat. Around 3 he will have some finger foods too. He loved the apple wheels and oranges. When he does eat it is a lot I guess. My friend gives her girls 3-4 oz between the twins each meal. Alexander eats 4-5 oz sometimes 6 oz per feeding himself. He's about 2 lbs less then the bigger twin so I don't think its hurting him any. The twins are 3 weeks younger then Alexander too.

My life has changed in the past 8 months. I lost myself for a long time. I'm JUST starting to come back into my own and try to figure out how to be mom, wife and Charity. That's a lot to learn, it's tough, it's a struggle, one I hope to get a hold of in the next few months because in 6 weeks I become mom, wife, Charity and tech support agent. It is going to be a large adjustment one I hope I'll be able to do well. I know in my mind the kind of mom/wife/person I want to be it's just to bring that to the front and implement it. It's easy to be lazy when you've spent 8 months at home with the kid. You have to start somewhere at some point though don't ya. My major goal over the next year is to lose weight. I want to get back to my 170-180 lbs. I want to feel that good about myself again. I have been tracking all my food for the past week and I will take a look at it and figure out where I can improve on. See if I can figure out why/where I'm gaining.

What about you lovely readers out there, have you had kids? Have you lost yourself to those kids? How did you find yourself again?

To end on a cute note  here's a short video:

Thursday, March 21, 2013

SAHM VS Working mom

So on another blog I visit she had a post about being a stay at home mom versus a working mom. There was a couple of articles she referred to regarding feminist house wives (The Retro Wife) and another from (Feminist housewife is such bullshit) There is so many comments on the Jezebel article I don't even know where to begin!
First my thoughts on being a stay at home mom vs a working mom. My mom worked, we do not have the best relationship but its not because she worked. It's because of how she chose to spend her time when she got home from work. She sat on her chair and read a book. I don't remember meals or conversations or anything she did with us I remember her ignoring us to read a book. I grew up with an older brother and sister who were not the best to me and I am not close to them either. None of us got attention from our mom. My dad passed away when I was 4 so she was a single mom. I understand raising kids is hard, I get that but it's also super important that you are involved a bit in your children's life.
I will be a working mom as well. Mainly for financial reasons, the other being sanity reasons. I need to have my own identity. I need to be more then mom. I need to be Charity as well. Working helps with that. I need the social aspect that work brings into my life. In order for me to be as great as mom as I can be it's important for me to be social. Until Alexander is 2 we will be splitting our parenting roles. I will be taking care of Alexander from the time he wakes until 4-430 at which time his dad will take care of him til bed time. Jon is going to be working 7-330 and I will be working 5-130. This does mean I will not get a ton of sleep, and we will not see much of each other. But this is what will work for our family. Once Alexander is 2 we'll see what sort of schedule I can get at work and see what happens from there.
I want to be able to afford to take family vacations and to get an education fund for Alexander and to get him things that he wants, not just what he needs. In order for us to do this we do need to be an 2 income household. Unfortunately neither one of us make a 3 figure salary that would be sufficient to take care of our family for one of us to stay home. Jon also would not have any problem with being a stay at home dad. In fact if we ever did win a lottery big enough for one of us to stay home, it would be him. The only stipulation I put on that is that he will need to learn how to cook. More then just hot dogs and fish and chips.
I do feel it is not important for a child to always have a "stay at home mom" I feel it's important for parents to be involved in their children's lives and they can do that while working. It takes effort yes. You will be exhausted yes but giving children a memory filled childhood is worth it.
My 2nd thought is from a thread from comment section that moms are better care givers then dad. That is BS. I do not believe "mom does it better" when it comes to child raising, and house work. I believe there needs to be and equal effort put in from both partners. One of the other comments was how it is or isn't biologically ingrained in women to wake at the sound of a baby crying. It totally is. When you give birth to that child there is something that just turns on for you to wake when the baby wakes, to check on the babies breathing to take care of that child. You carried it around for 9 months in your body it is a part of you. Dad's can learn to wake at the sound of a baby crying but mom's don't need to learn, they have their baby ears on from the time they give birth. PS if you ever do miss hearing the baby cry (when they have been hard crying for a while) because you are passed out from exhausted, you feel like the worst mom ever. I know this from experience.

On another note.. I have an 8 month old! Happy 8 months to my little man.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

New Goals

So I went to one of the doctors yesterday that followed my pregnancy. I was in a folic acid trial to see how it affects pregnancy and the possibility of preeclampsia. They believe that if you stay on high doses of folic acid it can reduce the possibility of preeclampsia. She followed my weight at every appt I gained a total of 23 lbs while I was pregnant and another 7 after. We discussed my weight and what I can do to help. She said not to stress to much about it right now cause I'm still a new mom even though Alexander is 8 months old tomorrow (when did that happen!). She said to just eat as healthy as possible and to try to walk at least 10,000 steps a day. I have my pedometer strapped on and am currently on 199 steps. Mind you I didn't put it on as soon as I got up which is my busiest time of the day but today is just a "base" day.
Jon and I talked and he said that if I could just remember what I ate before I moved to Moncton (when I was at 180 lbs) and follow that again then I could probably get the weight off. The problem is I don't remember what I ate. It is easier to make a list of what I didn't eat that I eat now. So quickly off the top of my head this is what I reintroduced to my diet over the last 4 years:
  • chips
  • pop
  • chocolate
  • sweets in general
  • french fries
  • fish sticks
  • butter
  • cream (in coffee)
  • bacon
 I think the hardest thing to stop will be the pop and sweets. I also use to use twin in my coffee, right now I drink 3 tsp's of sugar. I would like to cut that out slowly too.
My life is no longer my life. It belongs to Alexander. I need to get back into shape for him. I have been having a few symptoms of my disorder popping up lately (difficulty with steps, and some drop foot). I'm not sure if its due to my added weight or if its due to the stress that nursing an 8 month old is putting on my body. My neurologist is out of office until Monday so I'll be giving him a call then. I really don't want to start back on my IVIG so if its the nursing thing it will be short lived as I'm really going to try super hard to get Alexander onto a sippy within the next 2-3 weeks because I want to be back to work in 6 weeks.. HOLY SHIT 6 WEEKS!!! OMG having a mommy break down looking at that.. But financially it must be done. He will be 9.5 months so really we will be ok. Especially when I'll still get my days with him and Jon will get nights.

I can't believe Alexander will be 8 months tomorrow! My goodness they grow fast!

Tuesday, March 19, 2013


Well I stepped on the scale today and this is what I saw:

This disappointed me greatly I need to figure out why I continue to gain weight :( I'm very upset at this moment. I fought so hard to lose weight now I'm basically back where I started 7 years ago :( time for me to make a lot of changes. I want to be healthy for my husband and my son. I want to go back to enjoying life. I need to stop and evaluate my life. :(

I'm putting this out on my blog because I need to be real. I need encouragement and accountability. I also updated my calorie count app on my iphone. I need to start using that more often. Weight loss is calories in VS calories out. I've done this time and time again. I'm super disappointed that I gained 6 lbs in the past 2 weeks. I think tonight I'll be sitting down and having a talk with the hubby and ask for help. I've asked him before then I get upset when he tried. This time I can not this is too important. He is not in great shape either we both could use this. I really never wanted to see that number again. Tuesday will be my weight in days. I will post the weight on here so every one (all 6 of you) can see my progress. Lord I hope that the last time that number ever appears.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Scheduling life

Before I had a kid nothing was schedule, other then work ours. We came and went as we wanted. We never had to abide to any sort of schedule. We could go out when we wanted or stay as late someplace as we wanted, now that we have a child.. not at all. Not even in the slightest of ways. Everything is on Alexander's schedule. We have to wait until he wakes from his naps we have to work around his eating schedule (or we end up with the bear he was on the way to Amherst this morning) If any of these things are thrown off our whole day is thrown off.

I want to get more organized with my life, however I don't know how to. I need a magical organizer to come into my life and spend a week with me. I have my "schedule" on my monthly calender however can not follow it. I have set which days I clean which rooms etc. But never seem to follow it.. I really need to buckle down and do it. It is so much work to figure out a schedule and stick to it. It's so difficult to schedule life though. I can not have every minute of every day scheduled, although it would make life with Alexander that much easier.

This is going to be a super short post cause I'm super tired. I did not get to zumba this morning however I went to my in laws for supper and home to clean and get ready for Jon's guys night. When we were at my in laws we went to a local farm to see baby goats. There was 43 of them born in the last few months, including 2 this morning. I however forgot my phone home so have no pictures of them at all :( I want to take Alexander there when he gets a little older. There really isn't many things cuter then babies even the 4 legged kind. Most baby animals are a lot cuter then when they are adults. Except baby hedge hogs.. They are UGLY babies!!!

Especially compared to the adults!

Friday, March 15, 2013

Relaxing after a crazy day

Today was insane! Tomorrow will be a wee bit more insane! Today we had to get the oil changed in hubby's car so we went for a walk while that was happening, checked out some used cars as I'm in the market soon for a car. More then likely the end of June. We're looking into a Dodge Journey, Mazda 5 or a nice used Honda CRV. We want something with tons of space since going out now requires us to bring 3/4 of our house. Especially if we go away over night! I thought it was bad before when we just had a dog.. A kid has a ton more stuff then a dog. After looking at a few cars we had to run some errands and I had to get blood taken as I'm getting my thyroid checked. Then it was home for supper and a fight to put a little man to bed and then I had to prep food for Jon's UFC party tomorrow night. Busy day indeed.

I did break my 21 day streak yesterday.. I'll call it a "rest day" mainly because that's what I did. The day's that Alexander is whiny are the hardest on me. I can handle crying I can handle him not wanting to settle the days of constant whining that's what gets me. That little high pitched whine. I love him to death but I HATE HATE HATE that sound. It truly is nails on a chalk board for me. So Jon decided I'd go to bed at 8 and he'd do bed time duty.. which was great! I slept from 9ish til 6 am! YAY sleep.. its wonderful. Today was another whiny day though :( I just don't know what's going on with my little man. I tried a ton of stuff he was just not happy today. I also did not do well with the "not snacking" its hard.. Especially when you're with other ppl and they snack. It's when the will power is the weakest.

So lets talk nutrition. When I got pregnant apparently that side of my braid died. I wish it had gone into hibernation but nope it died completely. I no longer know what to eat for meals. I can't think what I use to eat. I can't think of the proper way to fuel my body. I really should have been doing this from the time I got pregnant but food got to hard. Instead eating an english muffin with cheese with a cup of coffee became dinner. Not my beloved 3 bean salad with chicken, or turkey wrap with tzatiki sauce and spinach with an apple. It's hard to remember to eat healthy when you have a 7.5 month old who you have to be super diligent with their diet and make sure they are not eating fruit all day and get proteins and get iron and get fed enough and drink enough and blah blah blah.. I really wish I had someone to make my meals for me like I do for Alexander. But when it comes to nutrition I know it. It is buried somewhere deep in my head but I do know it. I know how to eat healthy. Years of eating healthy helped me do that. It should not erase 18 months of not eating healthy. That info is still in there. My goal is to eventually follow Jillian Michaels food plan. She is so smart when it comes to health. She know we need to eat certain foods, she knows we're human and we can't be "on" all the time. I hate seeing friends try these speciality diets like Atkins, palebo, blood type diet.. All of these diets include cutting out a food type. There is food however I do not eat. French fries. Fast food burgers.. actually the only fast food I eat is Arby's. Immediately deep fried foods. I say immediately because I do eat chips and sometimes we get those boxes of precooked chicken wings or fish that I will eat but that's really only started happening the past 3-4 months :s Mainly because I make them for hubby so eat a few myself.  I'd like to lose 65-70 lbs. That is my goal. I'd love to hit it by the end of summer but that would require a 14 lbs weight loss each month and right now I think that is a bit unrealistic. I'm hoping once the weather warms up it will be a more achievable goal.

Here is a pic of me on my wedding day. I hope to be a lot smaller this time next year!

Well it is getting late and tomorrow will be an insanely busy day including Zumba, dinner with family, tidying up the house and having friends over. I must get to bed before I pass out.. it may be the wine I just had but man oh man am I ever tired.

BTW looking for a nice Zinfandel wine. Barefoot makes a great one.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Family time is fantastic

Well today was suppose to be movie day however some little man slept a little to late on his first nap to get to the theater in time. However we did have family come down from Nova Scotia. It's their march break so they went to the indoor amusement park and I decided to take Alexander for a visit. It was so great to see them I wish I had a picture of their reaction to me showing up as they were not expecting it. Family is important to both Jon and I and we want Alexander to grow up close to his family. As close as possible when they all live away. So today he got to hang out with aunties and uncles and cousins. We ended up at Swiss Chalet for dinner and I wasn't prepared to be out as long as we were and didn't have "dinner" for him. I had puffs and cookies and formula but that's not much. I ordered the chicken breast with veggies. He ate my cauliflower and some broccoli and a few bites of chicken and drank another 2 oz of his formula. He's getting to be very good at the sippy. He also provided hours of entertainment for the family. Plus when we got home he slept for 2 hours.

So day 2 of 21 days of no snacking was great! I succeeded yay! This weekend will be the challenge as we are having ppl over Saturday night. I was going to go to zumba tonight too but seeing as how it starts at 7:30 and its now 7:30 I don't think I'll make it in time. I also want to see if I have spare money cause it's 50$ for 10 classes which is great so I can go for 10 weeks or twice a week for 5 weeks. :S Right now until I get a bit of extra money I'd rather stretch it out over time. The one thing that will make me a bit sad when I cut out breast feeding all together will be the cost of formula. It's expensive. Although he's going to have to start drinking more then 3oz a day of it! I'm hoping with time he'll get better. I'd really like to start him on cows milk at 9 months but my dr recommends formula until 1 year and Jon is really wanting it as well, so... formula it is.

I was hoping there would be some nice days this week to get out for a walk/jog, however they have so far all been overcast and rainy. Tomorrow morning it's suppose to rain but be ok in the afternoon. Perhaps I'll be able to get out and go for a walk and start jogging again tomorrow. That's basically how I learned to run, I walked, then jogged and eventually ran. If I ever get to the point where I'm successfully running races (which I hope I will be) I wanna get a personal license plate for my car that says RUNRMOM :D

So I've realized so far I've kinda been all over the place with this blog I'd like to do some better posts and try to do specific posts daily rather then this is my day and this is everything that happened lol. I have to research a bit on how to be a better blogger! Any tips and hints greatly appreciated!

And in other news someone learned to stand this week... on his own.. his crib is now lowered!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Quick day/quick week ahead

So today was EI day so I got paid. Pay weeks always go so quickly, and I don't mean just the money. Today consisted of a drive to peticodiac to see our doctor (who gave us tips on weaning/baby food etc) and groceries. Groceries were awesome cause I left Alexander home with Jon and went alone!! It was great :) Tomorrow is the movies with the babies and Saturday is just stupid packed. I'm going to Zumba in the morning then afternoon it's visiting and supper at Jon's parents then we're hosting a UFC party. Which is weird cause none of us watch it regularly but when it's on ppv they always get together here for it. Same with the Super Bowl. Friday will consist of cleaning and getting food ready for said event.

So my doctor advised me today to start cutting out the late morning/afternoon feelings and when he eats his solids to offer him a bottle at the same time. She also said since he only drinks it cold that I don't have to go by the 1 hour and chuck it rule. She said by the time it gets warm and "dangerous" it'll be 2-3 hours. She did say that the real danger is warming it up and then cooling it down and warming it up again. With how he drinks it it's not an issue.

I didn't do anything fitness wise but got lots of healthy things to eat oh and didn't snack today!! Yay day 1 :).

Monday, March 11, 2013

Dear daylight savings time.. you SUCK

It's the time feared by all moms especially those with young children, "spring ahead" in day light savings time. When we "fell back" it did not affect Alexander however the "spring ahead" has completely messed my lovely happy kissy snuggly boy up to the max! Insted I awoke to a fussy cranky I'm only going to nap for a half hour at a time and scream crying the whole time I'm awake baby. Even now as I watch the baby monitor he's fussing himself to sleep. He fell asleep nursing (which is extremely rare now) but hubbys phone went off and woke him now he won't drift quietly back to sleep..  While I love the extra day light I hate the messing with my kid's routine!

I did not accomplish much today, I made him some puree chicken, made a doctors appt, and attempted to make baby cereal pancakes. That was an epic fail. No matter what heat I cooked them at, which kind of pan I used, or how big/small I made them they burnt on the outside and were raw in the middle :S I'd like to start feeding him something more then just puree foods. I tried strawberries today which were chunky.. he was not happy with them. I was quite disappointed in the pancakes. :( We tried to take out the afternoon nursing sessions however with a screeching refusing solids baby I broke and gave into him and nursed him.

So last night at Zumba the instructor came over and chatted with us after class and she said if we do Zumba 2-3 times a week and ate properly that we could lose our pregnancy weight. I am struggling with the eating right part. Big time. I have tried to cut out the "bad things" of my diet and it's hard when your super stressed. I'm feeling less stressed then before however maybe now is a good time to try to start over. I think for the next 21 days I will cut out my snacking. I will only eat my 3 meals a day. (starting tomorrow as today is a bust!) Maybe that will be a start and I'll lose some lbs. I would really like to get the new Jillian Michaels book however I really can't imagine where I'd fit in the time to read it, until I start back to work then I might be able to sneak a bit in on my lunch breaks.

So my goal last week was 21 days of blogging to start my habit. My goal this week will be 21 days of no snacking to see if that will break my bad habit and create a new healthier one. A few other habits I'd like to break over time is the amount of time I spend on my cell phone, drinking pop, not exercising as much as I should and being lazy and resting through the day insted of straightening up. I have an ideal me in my head that I want to strive to be cause she's a rockin mom!

I would like every mom who visits this page to go to this link.. and remember it while your child is growing:

Sunday, March 10, 2013


I had a fairly relaxing Sunday albeit a long one. Alexander woke at 5:45 this morning and decided that he did not want to go back to bed until 9 am :S he did play a while in his crib quietly but mostly wanted to be with us. He then slept til 11 am and then my friend Amy came over and played with him for a bit and visited. Then I went to zumba tonight. Alexander has now pushed the limit of his bedtime by well past an hour on his old schedule and just went to bed 20 minutes ago. It's 10:20pm :S What a brutal bed time that was! So I have been awake (with no nap might I add) since 5:45 am! How am I still able to form sentences.

So as my title says I went to zumba tonight. I really enjoy it me and my friend Kim go. We try to go every Sunday night.. Try being the operative word. I can honestly say without a doubt this is how I do zumba:

But it gives me energy and makes me feel better so that's really whats important right! We  have fun doing it so it doesn't matter how silly we look.

I'm hoping for a good week weather wise so that I can get Alexander out for a few walks, I noticed tonight the sidewalks were clearing up of some of the ice chunks. I really have to work on my diet this week and not just grab whats quick and convenient. I really need to think about what I'm putting into my body and fueling it. Not just for my sake or to try to lose weight but for Alexander too. I'm breastfeeding this child I don't know how many nutrients are in cheese cake but I'm sure its not the best thing to go thought my body to produce milk for him.

Anyways I'm exhausted beyond believe but I wanted to do a quick update, for the 21 days to make a new habit thing. Perhaps I should also make other changes as well. I will think of a list of things over night and dates on which to start these changes. One small change can make a huge difference right!

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Being a runner post baby with an autoimmune disorder

I have an auto immune disorder. CIDP (Chronic Inflammatory Demylenating Polyneuropathy) basically my immune system will attack the nerves in my arms and legs. It starts at the myelin sheath which is what is used to send the signal from your brain to your nerves to get your body parts to move. As you can imagine when I have episodes they really suck. When I was first sick with this disorder I lost all ability to walk. I was 17 and I could only move my head. I did not even have enough strength in my hands to push more then  2 buttons on a phone to dial a number. I was bed ridden for a couple of months. Eventually they put me on meds and I spent a good 7-8 years trying to get things straightened out. They did put me on IVIG which has since put my disorder into remission. When I was getting things worked out there was  a time where I couldn't walk up stairs because I was too weak. I started going to the gym worked out on the treadmill. I eventually got to the point where I ran. I love running. It's very therapeutic for me. Before I got pregnant I ran 5k a day. Albeit I ran slow I still ran! When I was pregnant I was sick for my first 4.5 months. This put an end to my working out and running. I did not work out at all. Then after Alexander was born I had postpartum so I didn't pick it back up.
My disorder is not full blown now but I can feel some symptoms occasionally especially when I'm super tired. I have a bit of weakness. I now have been walking occasionally with Alexander, which is harder because of the stroller and the state of the sidewalks. Our sidewalks are bad by my place. When ppl were walking on them they slushy it froze in foot prints, as a result there is huge ruts in the ice/snow on the sidewalk. Pushing a jogging stroller through it is hard. I don't like pushing him in the bicycle lane because I do not feel that it is safe, especially in the winter time, you never know when a car will hit ice.
Because of the weather and my disorder I've been sticking to around 3k :( which is frustrating. I can't wait til the side walks are clear so I can go on my full 5k. My times are slow, like turtle slow but I'm also not jogging now. I'm averaging 15-16 minutes per KM pushing a stroller through slushy rutty sidewalks. I will be ever so grateful for when the sidewalks get cleared. I was doing my 5k in 50 minutes outside 38 on the treadmill (hills are the devil!). I was quite proud of myself the other day as when I would hit bare spots of the sidewalk I was doing 13min/km splits. I have the Couch to 5k app on my phone. I just need to get the sidewalks cleared to workout!  My goal is to do the cross boarder run next July. I'd love to do it this July however I do not know if I can be ready for it. The cross boarders run is a 10k run that starts in Nova Scotia to New Brunswick. You can do 5k but I'd really like to do the 10K.
I have run into a few issues now. I am not eating the best I should be. I am not eating well at all since the baby was born. I do not know how to fuel my body and eat 95% of the time out of boredom. I need to redo my diet. I find it quite hard to eat right with Alexander. I never find the time to do the simple things such as cooking a chicken breast and making a salad.. However it really shouldn't be that hard. I should be able to make the time, it really doesn't take that long. Any suggestions on how to get my diet back on track would be greatly appreciated. I swear when I pushed my child out I also pushed my brain out! I just for the life of me can not get my diet/exercise back on track.

Friday, March 8, 2013

We'll be back after these messages

I had wanted to write a post about being an extreme novice runner tonight however I'm feeling very under the weather tonight so I will save it for tomorrow. I'm posting because supposedly it takes 21 days to make a new habit so lets see if that's true!!
PS. Comments from the small peanut gallery will help :)

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Growth spurts are insurance you only have one child!

Last night Alexander went to bed at 630.. his usual bed time is 8pm. Then at 10 pm he decided he wanted to wake up and not go back to sleep til midnight!!! Then he was awake at his usual 5 am time for a feeding. I really thought he'd sleep til 8 am nope 6:50 I hear some jingles and babbling from his bedroom. He has an owl jingler that you put on strollers and car seats hanging off his crib he rings it when he wants out of the crib. Needless to say I was exhausted. I put him down for his first nap around quarter to 9 and he slept til 10:30. I should have napped as well however I decided to get showered, empty the dishwasher, wash the dishes we don't put in  the dishwasher and do a load of laundry. After he got up he was not a happy camper. Not sure what was going on but I fed him and let him play around a bit. He drank 1/2 an oz of water from his sippy with a straw. Its a sippy I can push on to help get water up so I was helping him but at least he got half an oz in and he drank a bit of formula maybe 10 mouthful. It's a start, I just have to keep reminding myself of that rather then getting frustrated that he won't actually drink from them just swallows the liquid that drips in his mouth.

We then put on this cute jacket:


And went for an hour long car drive. Just drove around town to try to get him to calm down and sleep which worked great! That jacket is a size 3 months.. he is 7.5 months.. I wonder if he'll ever outgrow it. I was told its not necessary for me to take him to his 9 month check up but I think I will anyways just so I can get a weight on him and make sure he's staying on his growth curve. I worry sometimes that he's to tiny. Especially when babies younger then him really surpass him.

I was going to go for a walk today but honestly I was just to exhausted. The thought of dragging the stroller out and navigating over the semi snow covered sidewalks tired me greatly so I did not get any exercise in, other then chasing the boy around the house. Which was a bit disappointing maybe I'll get out tomorrow. I find on cloudy days in the winter/spring my motivation to go out and walk is zippo. I would much rather laze about. We need the sun to come out. It's suppose to this weekend hopefully it will if it does we'll be headed to the nature park for a stroll with Alexander. I'm rather excited for this summer as he'll be starting to walk and I'll be able to take him to the park behind my house and play in the playground with him!

The title of this post is a joke, of course, if that were the case there would be a heck of a lot less people in the world! However I do want to discuss how many children Jon and I plan on having. It was a big decision because we both grew up with siblings to decide on only having Alexander. We would both like for him to have a sibling however there is many many factors that weighed on our ultimate decision. The first being my disorder. Yes I successfully carried Alexander, and delivered him without issue however I notice when I'm really sleep deprived I do have symptoms pop up that are not fun. General weakness. I can imagine how much harder it would be to be pregnant with a toddler running around the house. I was EXHAUSTED my entire pregnancy more then I ever thought possible. I do not want to run the risk of a flare up from my disorder while I'm holding a child and risk dropping them because I don't have the physical strength. I also do not want Jon to have to take a leave from work to look after 2 children and a wife who can not walk.

Our second reason for deciding to only have one child is financial. We want to be responsible parents and to always be able to provide for our family. We do not want to struggle though and not be able to give our child what they want. We do not want to be wondering where we're going to get the money for Christmas or birthdays or anything like that. Children are expensive. We make good money however we also want to do a lot with Alexander and have him experience the world. Jon had a great child hood filled with fantastic memories of family vacations. We want the same for our little man. lets face it life is expensive. I think it would be really irresponsible of us to bring another child into the world that we would struggle to provide for.  My friend Kim's little fella is 2 months older then Alexander so we decided they can just be brothers since she isn't having another kid either.

Those are the two major reasons why we're only having one child. However IF something happens before Jon gets snipped we will count them as a blessing and provide for them the best we can.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

I did not fall off the face of the earth.. I just had a baby

Well now it has been a very very long time since I've been able to post on the blog for a number of reasons. Mainly the baby and all that came with him. I developed bad postpartum depression and am now just getting into the swing of things. I am just now feeling comfortable in taking care of him and my husband (oh yeah I got married) and my self and my house. I want to spend the next while getting back into shape. (lost 15 lbs of my baby weight to put it right back on so I'm basically holding onto all my baby weight :( ) I want to become the mother, wife and self I dreamed of being while I was pregnant. Not this mess of a human struggling to get by every minute I have felt that I became for the past few months. It's time to pick myself up and dust myself off!!! I will try my hardest to post daily. I have always wanted to be a blogger. I find my favorite bloggers are those who are open and honest with everything in their lives. So I will try hard to be that kind of blogger as well.

So how has the past 7.5 months been well I can easily say that having a baby is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Not just delivering him but raising him. It is hard to have a human depend on you for EVERYTHING in their lives.

First off I am breast feeding.. sounds great right. Formula is expensive, breast feeding is convenient, its healthiest for the baby its got this pro and that pro blah blah blah.. What the hospital told us is do not introduce a bottle to them until they were 4-6 weeks so they wouldn't get nipple confusion. I was a bit against it I wanted to introduce a bottle right away, hubby wanted to wait. In the end it was more convenient to give him the breast when he was hungry.. Now to the huge CON... he wont take a bottle. Never has I cant even get him to drink from a sippy... Seriously.. he will take 1-2 sips from the sippy cups but nothing substantial. He will drink a bit from a regular glass but as you can imagine that is a bit of a mess. Best thing is I want to go back to work early I want to go back to work May 6th which is 2 months away. Which has me wondering how the hell I'm going to if I can't get him on a bottle. And believe  me I have tried everything. I have tried every bottle on the market, every nipple out there, he will not take soothers either. I have tried not feeding him for hours to see if he'd get hungry enough, warmed nipples, put my finger in with the bottle nipple, you name it I've tried it.. nothing has been a success so that is our struggles now.

Secondly he is 7.5 months he started doing an army crawl at 6 months.. he is active. He is curious, he is a handful. Jon is at work 9 hours a day (including drive in and drive home time) It is a lot to be home with an infant by yourself for that long! He doesn't get fussy that often anymore, he did for a while though. I think mainly because he was feeding off my negativity. When you have postpartum it's hard. It's super hard. I also have no family around. The closest family we have is a half hour away, although that doesn't seem that far we rarely get visits in because everyone is just to dang busy.

I do go to play dates every couple of weeks. Which has been a help. I have developed a fantastic friend ship with my friend Kim. Her little guy is 2 months older then Alexander. It's great having another mom to talk to. I felt very alone for a very long time. It felt like every other mom I knew had no troubles with their children and they were the perfect mom. When I'd look at myself, my house was messy and the baby was fussy and I felt like I was a failure as a mom for not being able to do all I wanted to. I struggled a lot. I am now getting over it. So if your a first time mom out there, struggling and reading this.. it does get better.

In November we went to Punta Cana and got married.. I was amazing. Not as relaxing as I had hoped but it was fantastic none the less. I hope to get back some day.  We had a lot of fun. The wedding was amazing and everything I hoped it would be. The day/week long adventure was perfect. (Marlin travel however was HORRID) I will do a post with my experience with them sometime seriously horrible. I would never ever recommend them to anyone EVER!

The next few months I look forward to getting back in shape. The weather is warming up I'm hoping to get Alexander out for a lot more walks and getting some of this baby weight off. Another momma through baby group said she never lost any of her baby weight while she was breast feeding either then when she stopped she lost 16 lbs in 2 weeks. Knowing my messed up body that's why I'm tipping the scales at 240 lbs now :( My goal is to be down to 170 lbs. I know it's doable. I've done it. I just need to get the motivation back and eating properly back.  Totally doable though :)

I look forward to the summer with Alexander, going to the parks going for walks/jogs/runs. Taking him to the beach. He loves being outside, he falls asleep in the stroller for the most part after 15-20 minutes but its still so good for him to be outside! I want to become a runner. I want to run 5k's and 10 k's. Maybe someday even a half marathon. I want to be the mom that Alexander can be proud of. One thing I want to do is a lot less phone time and focus more of my energy on Alexander when he's awake. It's hard right now though because texting is my way of adult interaction. Until I'm back to work its really the only way to talk to another adult until Jon gets home from work. And sometimes when he gets home from work he just wants to watch TV and unwind not listen to me go on and on.. Which really I can't blame him. But I think once I'm back to work it will be easier.

That is another post that I will be doing soon a post on going back to work early and without childcare! I have a lot going on in my mind which I will be doing posts on for the next while :) YAY topics! But seeing as how this is a very long post right now I shall say tootles for now and go do some research on how to wean my baby.. Wish me luck!

In the mean time I'll leave you with a cuteness picture!